They Failed Me, Now What?
What happens when the people who are supposed to protect you fail you? What does that failure look like? What happens if you do not address it? What does it mean to move from being damaged to being delivered?
Today’s interview is entitled, They Failed Me, Now What? The interviewee is Joyce Hester, known to many as “Lady Joy.”
Crystal: Who is Joyce “Lady Joy” Hester?
Joy: Well I am glad you asked. Joyce is me legal/original name however through many trials and setbacks over the course of my life I realized that going through those traumatic situations that I was still able to smile. I still had my Joy!!! Not only did I have it I was able to stir it up and allow it to get me through some rough times in my life and also help others stir up their Joy that exists in them as well because Joy truly exists in us all.
Crystal: Who failed you?
Joy: When I hear this question, it causes me to pause for a moment…my answer of course currently still has some hurt associated with it…I have been failed in my life by my father, mother, sisters, brothers, friends, aunties, uncles, teachers, church folks and MYSELF!
Crystal: What does it mean to go from being damaged to being delivered?
Joy: As I look back over my life I recognized that I was doing the same things over and over expecting a different result (insanity) in my realizing that fact I began to pray and ask God to help my move forward and I heard the word “SHIFT”. I began to take a deeper look at the definition of the word and one of the definitions that stuck out to me was- to move or to cause (something or someone) to move to a different place or position. I wanted to be in that different place/position once and for all, so I am huge a huge lover of acronyms and God dropped in my spirit steps to help me S.H.I.F.T. 1. Speak life over my situation 2. Help others along the journey 3. Involve Others in your mission/assignments 4. Forgive yourself then others 5. Trust God
Crystal: How has childhood trauma shaped your adult life?
Joy: Initially my adult life was mostly centered around me masking the hurt, shame and embarrassment associated with childhood trauma.
Crystal: What message do you have for a child going through trauma?
Joy: I would tell a child that is going through any type of trauma that first it is not your fault!!! Tell someone that you trust what has happened to you and if they don’t believe you or they do nothing to help you keep telling until your voice is heard.
Crystal: What gives you joy?
Joy: Ultimately giving God glory with and through my life and Knowing that all of the things that I have been through in my life will help someone else get through their abuse, struggle, trauma or sickness.
Crystal: Have you forgiven the people who failed you?
Joy: Most definitely! The hardest person for me to forgive has been myself, however I have even managed to forgive myself as well.
Crystal: Have you taken back your power?
Joy: Yes
Crystal: In one of his sermons, T. D. Jakes said, the miracle is not in what you lost. The miracle is not in what you have consumed. Your best days are not your yesterdays. The miracle is in what you have left. What does that statement mean to you?
Joy: The statement reminds me to appreciate the things that are intangible that I believe we all take for granted- Joy, peace of mind, love, compassion for others and genuine kindness towards one another and to make sure that I am applying them to all of the relationships that I am blessed to have now and as I continue forward in this journey called life.
Crystal: What failures have you endured because you were failed?
Joy: I have failed at lots of things because the failure that I think will bother me to a certain degree for years to come will be the ending of my marriage and the feelings that I often have of letting my children down.
Crystal: Has your failures, and the failures of your childhood, led you to your purpose?
Joy: I would say with 100% certainty that my childhood has definitely led me to my purpose as an advocate for the empowerment of women and girls through unity.
Crystal: What is Kingdom Woman Rock?
Joy: Kingdom Women Rock Outreach Ministry is a 501c3 non-profit organization that is designed to assist the needs of the under-represented population. KWR has a primary goal to build a Temporary Living Facility that will help women, children and men on a case by case basis who are homeless survivors of abuse, single parents, those who battle chronic illnesses or those who are reentering citizens.